With the NFL Draft now behind us, teams and fan bases will devote much of their attention between now and the start of the regular season this coming fall to analyzing draft picks and assessing rookie performances at camps. We posted an article in early April on the Redskins’ top draft needs. Although ESPN’s draft guru Mel Kiper gave the ‘Skins a poor draft grade on the grounds they failed to address some of these needs, the strength of Washington’s rookies is still up for debate. In particular, the selections of University of Virginia tackle Morgan Moses at #66 and Clemson corner Bashaud Breeland at #102 could wind up being excellent picks in a few years’ time.
But in the case of the Redskins, particularly without a first round pick or an immediate impact rookie, the remainder of the offseason will also be consumed by that same nagging issue that’s become such a headache for Washington football fans over the last couple of years: the call for a name change.
But instead of harping even more on the issue of a name change—really, this is pointless, because you’re on one side or the other and unlikely to change your mind—we thought we’d kick off the summer discussions with a lighter approach to the nasty little issue clouding the Redskins’ future. One thing many of us can agree on in the name change debate is that ‘Skins owner Dan Snyder has handled it all poorly. He famously and stupidly referred to the topic as a “non-issue,” making himself look unreasonable in the process. Perhaps this is affirmation, a few years after Bleacher Report published an infamous article on the “50 Most Punchable Faces In Pro Sports,” that they had it right including Snyder at #6!
But to direct negative attention away from the Redskins, here’s our 2014 update to Bleacher Report’s list: 10 faces in sports more punchable than that of Dan Snyder!
10. Jonathan Papelbon – Pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies
Papelbon was a great relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, but he can never seem to play well enough to match his own opinions on how good he is. He’s smug, lout, and obnoxious, and it all shows in his face.
9. Tyler Hansbrough – Professional Basketball Player
Hansbrough was a great player in college and still plays with more tenacity than just about anyone in the NBA. But his bug-eyed face is incredibly punchable, and his tendency to complain about calls and travel with the ball don’t help. Plus, Hansbrough’s been hit in the face before.
8. Tony Romo – Quarterback, Dallas Cowboys
Why? Because he’s the Cowboys’ quarterback, and this is a Redskins site. And he’s also the most over-analyzed figure in professional sports.
7. Phil Hellmuth – Professional Poker Player
Hellmuth is poker’s “brat” or “bad boy,” and came in at #12 on Bleacher Report’s original list. Known for being a playboy, being a horrible loser, and even playing tournaments while on drugs, Hellmuth has still managed enormous success in pro poker.
6. Dan Gilbert – Owner, Cleveland Cavaliers
Somehow, Gilbert made himself look worse than Lebron James after James publicly spurned the Cavaliers and broke a city’s collective heart on national television. Gilbert more or less threw a tantrum, and he has mishandled his team with uncanny consistency ever since. Plus, he just has one of those faces….
5. Johnny Manziel – Quarterback, Cleveland Browns
I feel bad for Manziel, because the media’s turned him into someone who’s easy to hate when in reality he’s an exceptionally enjoyable player to watch. But you can’t help but want to knock him down a peg or two.
4. Alex Rodriguez – Third Baseman, New York Yankees
A-Rod is serving a full-season ban, and for that reason I’ll keep him a few spots back of the #2 spot Bleacher Report gave him in 2011. It feels like he’s already been punched in the face.
3. Novak Djokovic – Professional Tennis Player
Djokovic has matured in recent years and is an incredibly admirable player. But he still has an abrasive way with a microphone and has never had the effortless class of Roger Federer or the admirable ferocity of Rafael Nadal. A punch in the face might make the Serbian star a touch more humble.
2. Richard Sherman – Cornerback, Seattle Seahawks
Sherman somehow got away with one of the poorest displays of sportsmanship we’ve seen in years. Just because he’s intelligent and well-spoken, the narrative abruptly turned into “shame on anyone who criticizes him for being who he is.” Alright… but I still want to punch him in the face, because while I respect him, he’s a jerk on the field.
1. Donald Sterling – Owner, Los Angeles Clippers
Who else could be #1 these days? The disgraced (soon to be former) owner of the LA Clippers let loose a racist rant that seems like something out of the 19th century South. You can’t help but want to beat the guy up. And no matter how you may feel about Dan Snyder, Sterling makes me feel lucky the Redskins’ ownership isn’t worse!
*Got any others to add to the list? Feel free to let us now in the comments section. Corresponding punchable face pictures are welcomed.