Lets face it, we all watch sports and as masculine as we attempt to be, we all think to our selves “That is just one ugly dude.” This in turn makes us feel better about ourselves, because of the deep internal jealousy that we all really have for pro athletes.
For the most part this list is composed of people who are still playing today or have recently played, but in the top 5 I had to take it back in time because some faces you just can not forget. The full list would be quite a long one, and while it would be a good debate, these are my top candidates. This list is also going to cover many different types of ugly — not only the physical.
Just keep in mind that this is all in good fun.
10. Chris Bosh
NBA Champion Chris Bosh looks like some sort of cross between a bird of prey and an alien (I loved him in the movie “Signs”). The reason he is not higher on the list is because he is no longer rocking that god awful dreads look he made famous in Toronto. Jar-Jar Binks looking Bosh.
9. Joe Flacco
I blame the Ravens as an organization. They have public relations people, so what I want to know is who told him that looked good? It is bad enough that his eye brows look like caterpillars, but then he chose to grow that thing on his face. Joe Flacco makes me mad because this is the type of ugly that could be avoided with the help of looking in a mirror and being honest with yourself.
8. Terrell Suggs
Terrell Suggs is a big, fast, scary, giant man. So just in case he may be reading this, I am sorry and please do not hurt me. Suggs is the type of ugly that it doesn’t really matter because he is just that much better than you are. He just embraces it. His ugly is a tool he uses to excel. I also would like to pose the question…. is it just me or does he look like he most likely has really really bad breath?
7. Adam Morrison
Lets all just look at that picture again because its AWESOME. I have no idea if Morrison is still in the league and if he contributes, but it does not change the fact he looks as if he has never showered after a game ever. He looks like a kid who sits around and plays Nintendo all day. Not to mention he is a horribly ugly cryer.
6. Greg Oden
I feel bad for putting Oden on this list because he is 67 years old… but ugly is ugly. He is nearly 4 years younger than Lebron James, yet somehow still looks like he is Lebron’s uncle. His face almost looks like it needs to have a Rawlings symbol on it. I am sure he made the marketing people for the Blazers very excited when he came to town…..not.
Also, fair warning….be careful when google imaging Greg Oden.
5. Randy Johnson
Randy Johnson is so ugly it is awesome. His mullet was not just a hair cut…. it was a life style. Not to mention he is 6 foot 10! Have you ever seen an attractive person 6’10? Nope. But let us not forget he threw a baseball 100 mph, mainly because I think the ball was simply running away from him.
4. Stephen Garcia
For those who do not know Stephen Garcia, he was the South Carolina starting QB for what felt like 8 years. Now while in the fact he is not as ugly as some on the list, Garcia is ugly on the inside. Let’s face it, when you are kicked off a team more than 3 times because you want to be the ‘Creeper of Columbia’ and can not stay out of bars, then you really care about nobody but yourself. Not to mention he is the most out of shape QB this side of Sexy Rexy. Do a sit up.
3. Jay Gibbons
See the resemblance? I do not think anything more needs to be said.
2. Sam Cassell
Remember that part in Men In Black where Tommy Lee Jones points out all the people who are actually from other planets? I feel as though deep inside, Sam Cassell is who he was talking about.
1. Sheldon Williams
Sheldon Williams is so ugly it makes you smile. How many hands can fit on that forehead? Not only is he number one on this lis,t but I could make a case Sheldon Williams is the ugliest college basketball player of all time. Let’s also give it up for Candice Parker though, because she managed to find attractiveness in a man who she was way better looking than (I thought you can only jump 2 numbers)…….and also a better athlete.
A lot of these athletes embraced how they looked and turned it into a positive, but never the less ugly athletes will always make us feel better about ourselves. Until we realize the fact they still have more money and hotter women than we can dream of.