Your 2012-2013 Washington Wizards Playlist
Sometimes, in order to truly understand something, you need to let someone or something do the talking. Thousands and thousands of words could be used do describe all that’s gone on in the Wizards’ crazy season, but instead, here are some songs that can sum up the year the best.
Steelo – 702
Unless you haven’t been following the Wizards at all this season, this song needs little explanation. If Micheal Jordan had “Sirius” by The Alan Parsons Project as his theme, then this 90’s R&B song is nothing short of Jordan Crawford in musical form.
A sample of the lyrics to feast your eyes upon:
“Can I get your name and number,
Cuz I like your steelo.
And I dig the way you move,
And the way you do your thing,
Baby you can bring it on,
You can swing it this way.“
As Jordan Crawford was only eight when this song was released in 1996, I’m convinced that the members of 702, plus Missy Elliot, somehow got ahold of a time machine, drove said time machine to present day Verizon Center, watched Jordan do his thing, then, inspired by their journey to the future, wrote this ode to our favorite two guard that comes off the bench. This song fits him so well that time travel is a more logical explanation than the similarities just being sheer coincidence.
(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction – The Rolling Stones
Almost all of the moves the team made in the offseason were to transform the Wizards into a tight defensive squad, like the Indiana Pacers or Chicago Bulls. It worked somewhat, as the team currently gives up the ninth fewest points per game in the NBA. But that came at a heavy price.
The. Wizards. Can’t. Score. Seriously. The team is dead last in points per game with 91 PPG , and have cracked 100 points only 11 times. So what better way to comprehend the lack of scoring of the Washington Wizards then to listen to Mick Jagger sing about his lack of scoring?
The One That Got Away – Katy Perry
Before the draft, there were small rumors that the Oklahoma City Thunder were looking to trade James Harden for a top five pick to acquire Bradley Beal. The draft passed, and Harden remained a member of the Thunder. However, in October, Harden was shipped off to Houston for a plethora of players and draft picks.
This trade meant little to Wizards fans until December 11th, when Michael Lee of the Washington Post broke a story that pierced the heart of every Wizards fan: upper management had rejected a trade that would have sent Beal and Chris Singleton to the Thunder in exchange for Harden.
So, as we lament our favorite squad’s lack of offense while viewing a young Rockets team with a flashy offense on national TV, the DMV will simply have to look at James Harden and wonder what could’ve been, while watching the one that got away.
Love The One You’re With – Stephen Stills
Now while us fans lost out on James Harden, Bradley Beal is a very good consolation prize. Two time Eastern Conference Rookie of the Month, third highest rookie scoring average in the league, and one game-winning shot against the team that wanted him so much in June. Beal might not be a threat for the scoring crown, nor an All-Star. Yet. He’s not even old enough to grow a beard worth a dollar for every hair in that facial fuzz. But overall, it’s looking like the Wizards have someone special. The fans may not have the kind of high-octane scorer they love, but they’ll be fine with the shooter they have now.
Welcome Back – John Sebastian
When it was announced John Wall was going to be out with a strained left knee, he was supposed to come back by Thanksgiving.
Wall played his first game on January 12th.
Maybe Ernie meant Thanksgiving in Romania when he said that. I don’t know if there’s a Romanian Thanksgiving, but I’m gonna run with it.
But for Wizards fans who were increasingly fearing that Wall would be out of duty for the entire season, a half season of John is better than no Wall at all. So, as Wall comes back with career highs in per 36 min stats, the DMV has this song in their heads.
Bullets Hip Hop Hooray – Naughty By Nature
With Wall back and the team looking like a solid NBA squad, it’s time to pull it with the