Irene Pollin and her lucky yellow blaser won the John Wall sweepstakes

Irene Pollin and her lucky yellow blaser won the John Wall sweepstakes

On Sunday, Ben Standig of Comcast Sportsnet-Washington wrote an article on who the Wizards should send to stand in for the franchise for the NBA Draft Lottery later this month.  Standig makes quality cases for some names (John Wall, Bradley Beal, Nene) and wrote a solid post on a topic so intriguing that left me wanting more. So, I decided to come up with a few more ideas on who gets to be the lucky person to be able to grin awkwardly into the camera as the team is awarded the 10th or 11th pick, much like when your aunt gives you undershirts for Christmas and you have to act excited.


               Cartier Martin or Garrett Temple:

Garret Temple and Cartier Martin








The NBA Draft is, for sixty lucky athletes, one of the greatest nights of their lives. After all the hours of wind sprints and shooting drills, they are about to become players in the most prestigious basketball league in the world. Plus, they are about to get PAID.  As the Wizards’ current roster stands, Martin and Temple are two players are the only two Wizards who never had  the opportunity to hear their names called on Draft Night. So by my logic, they deserve to be involved in something draft-related for once in their lives.



G-Wiz Wizards








Ever since the team changed their name to the Wizards in 1997, there has only been one constant for the team: G-Wiz, the lovable blue…mascot thingy.   While no one knows what exactly G-Wiz is, it has always been around, whether it was distracting  fans from the dreadful teams at the turn of the millennium to distracting fans from the dreadful teams of the past few years, if anyone or thing has earned the right to be on ESPN smiling for the camera, it’s the…mascot thingy that may or may not have a mouth to smile with.


                 Andray Blatche:

Andray Blatche Wizards








Yes, he no longer plays in D.C. Yes, he spent the last months of his final year collecting DNP-Conditioning’s like crazy cat ladies collect tabbiesAlso, he was waived unceremoniously. But because he was amnestied, the Wizards are paying Blatche $23 million dollars to do nothing. If the team is forking over that much cash to Seven Day Dray, the least he could do is show up to NBA headquarters in a suit and tie and sit around for the presentation.


         Gheorghe Muresan:

Gheorhe Muresan













Muresan, the tallest player in NBA history at 7’7, has been working for the team in their PR department for a while now. He is also a cult figure among Wizards fans and a welcome sight at the Verizon Center, so this choice would be a solid decision. Besides, if the team somehow gets the top pick to fall into their laps, the night will be capped off with some dancing.


             God Shammgod:

God Shammgod








Many athletes claim to have him in their favor, but if the Wizards bring the former player who only played 20 games in his NBA career, the team can truly say, without a doubt, that they have God on their side.


           Steve Buckhantz:

Steve Buckhantz Wizards











He’s not actually a part of the Wizards organization, but his voice is one of the things most associated with the franchise. While he would represent the team along with the other stand-ins, his real contribution would be commentating on the revealing of the draft positioning. Imagine the Utah Jazz, with their 0.5% chance of receiving the top pick, somehow grabbing the top spot. Would a “NO! NOT POSSIBLE!”  not fit the moment perfectly? Or the Wizards lucking into the #1 pick, crowned with a cry of “DAGGER!” Steve Buckhantz could potentially turn an event involving ping-pong balls into the most exciting thing in sports that night, topping several MLB games and a NBA playoff match-up.


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